Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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