They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she peed on how many people?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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