What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
