he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
