New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
