You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
