How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize