i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
