Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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