Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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