There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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