i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
