I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
