I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
