Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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