dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
