For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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