I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
