After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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