the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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