I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We need a shit load of segways right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
