She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I want a musical about memes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
