I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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