P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
