The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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