First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How does one acquire holy water?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm really busy with my period
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