So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
