she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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