Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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