we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
