He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
