You're so nebulous sometimes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize