You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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