hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
