Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
