I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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