you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize