oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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