It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
