I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
