sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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