Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
