Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize