Screwed.edu
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
