Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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