He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
