i don't like sucking hair
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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