So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
