Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
