I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
