oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
