I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
