i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
