Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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