just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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