Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
