so explain again why im purple
no
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
