well most of my day revolves around power hour
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Mom said you looked used
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
