I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
