he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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