I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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